Log Of Wood

Posted: September 21, 2013 in Short Stories
Tags: , , , , , ,

log of wood

“Mama Chima, Mama Chima. Hmmm, shey you don hear the tori were I hia so?” Mama Chibuzor asked as she walked to the door of Mama Chima’s kitchen. Mama Chima was busy in the kitchen so her door was open leaving only the net door closed.

“Hian! Mama Chibuzor you don com again wit this your amebo ways, wetin you hia again?” Mama Chibuzor replied leaving what she was doing and walking towards the door.

“Okay oh, I dey go, no vex say I come sef” she replied, raising her head in a ‘not interested’ manner.

“Ahan ahan, persin no fit follow you play again. Oya, sorri, com tell me, wetin you hia?” Mama Chima apologized as she came out of her kitchen and both women stood outside, at the entrance.

“I hia say…” She said reducing her voice and going closer to mama Chima as if there was another person standing two feet away who she didn’t want to hear what she was about to say. “…say that yahoo boy wey dey stay for flat fifteen, EFCC don come catch am.”

“Ah!” She exclaimed “Tell me something”.

“Them say efcc com weyle am for night, that is the night before yestaday own, them scatta hin house con find two human head for nylon bag”

“ewele oohh! Chimo! Talk true!”

“I tire for you oh, you dey this our street so? Nne if you see the beat wey dem give this boy ehn, if not for God so, the boy for don die.” Mama Chibuzor said with funny hand gestures.

“Chineke!” Mama Chima exclaimed putting her hand on her head.

Them beat am ehnn, e dey cough blood comot, them con scatta hin house carry six computa, ten blakberri handset, plus the two human head wey dem find join”  She saw the way mama Chima was looking at her and felt the gist wasn’t sweet enough so she added her own. Lowering her voice, she said “I even hia say them find three live tortois (turtles) join”. Mama Chima’s eyes widened with disbelief.

“And that other one wey dey under am for flat eleven sef, them go hin house but dat one no dey, na only God save am, dem for kill am. Dem don lock hin house, dia two house sef, come carry the three big motor wey dem park for dia.” She continued pointing towards the car park.

“Hian! All dis young boys sef. Thank God say my Chima na good boy, e no go do anytin to put hin papa and mama for wahala”. Mama Chima said as clapped her palms three times before holding her arms across her chest.

You wey I hia say your Chima don go give dat police officer dauta belle, wey dey for block b flat two, you dey hia dey thank God. I surprise say you neva even hia dat one. By the time you hia, u go hia weehhnnn. Na die your son dey b dat. Mama Chibuzor thought to herself as she eyed mama Chima.

“I thank God too oh for my chibuzor, since when hin don travel go Malaysia na so so blessing God dey use am dey bless me, hin dey school dey work for dia” She said.

Taah, no be hin kidney hin go sell for Malaysia, dey dia dey deceive yourself, dey do as if say all of us no sabi. Everybody don know since naw. E go soon come back now dey form big boy like the rest of them. Mama Chima hissed as she thought to herself.

”Bet wait oh, bia, how you take sabi dis tori sotey, shey you dey for dia wen e happen?” Mama Chima asked her wondering how she knew every detail.

“No oh! I no dey oh” She replied raising her hands “Na hia I hia am” she added. Mama Chima shook her head. “Another one wey I hear again sef, na say Papa Segun for flat 2 dey sleep with that girl…ehhnnn, wetin be dat her name again sef, dat ashawo wey dey stay for flat 8…eeehhhh.” She continued, scratching her head while trying to remember the name.

“Wait oh, shey nah Mirabel you dey talk so?” Mama Chima asked.

“Ehen! Yes na Mirabel. Dis one no be only say dem talk, after I hia am, I con see dem with this my two korokoro eye.” She replied pointing to her eyes. “Dat day na for night, I comot go buy recharge card put for phone, nah hin I see Papa Segun dey comot small small from Mirabel flat, e con dey look round to make sure say nobody see am but e no see me sha cos wia I dey dark sef.” She added.

“Bet wait oh, Mirabel na student naw for univasity, which one you con dey call am ashawo?”

“Taah! Comot dia! Which student? Dat girl just dey use dat one take lie so that nobody go sabi. Abi you no dey see the men wey dey come that her flat? Shey dem resemble student for ya eye? Dat girl dey hussle.” Mama Chibuzor said eyeing her.

“Chelu (wait), Na true oh.” Mama Chima said as she thought about it. “Na wa oh, with all dis yamayama sickness wey full ground, I sorry for that girl oh. I don notice the men wey dey drop am and the girls wey she dey follow waka.” She shook her head.

Mama Chiuzor nodded her head in agreement. “Thank God say my dauta dey Germany dey school for dia, God help am make she finish and find work, she go start to dey send me big big money.”

Nne, no be asewo sef dat your dauta dey do for dia, if she no dey kiaful she sef go carry one yamayama sickness come back or them go deport am. Mama Chima thought to herself as she eyed Mama Chibuzor.

“Nne, I dey smell something wey dey burn” Mama Chibuzor said as she sniffed in the air around.

“Eeewwoooo!” Mama Chima exclaimed as she realized that what she was cooking had started burning. She ran into the kitchen immediately. “Na papa Chima food be dis oh, you wan put me for wahala dis night, you dis woman with all dis your stori u carry come so. Thank God say e neva burn much.”

Mama Chibuzor just kept on laughing ouside.

Papa Chima walked in just then, quietly walked behind Mama Chibuzor and smacked her bum. It made her to jump suddenly and let out a little scream. Thank God Mama Chima didn’t seem to notice as she was busy in the kitchen, she thought to herself as she looked in the direction of Mama Chima. She then turned back to Papa Chima, frowning at him while he gave her a knowing smile and signaled her to come closer, away from the view of Mama Chima.

“We dey see later tonite?” He asked her whispering and grinning from molar to molar.

She first eyed him and then smiled as she nodded her head to signify a yes. “Our usual meeting place go do, I go flash you wen Papa Chibuzor don comot,  hia?” Mama Chibuzor said.

“Korrect!” Papa Chima exclaimed sliently. He then cleared his throat and added loudly “Ehn, Mama Chima wetin dey burn for dia, no go burn my house down oh” talking to Mama Chima with a slight irritation in his voice.

“Papa Chima welkom, how your waka go?” Mama Chima replied as she walked to the kitchen door to greet her husband. Papa Chima shook his head and went into the house without saying a word.

“Oya dey go before you put me for wahala dis nite” Mama Chima said to Mama Chibuzor who was amused by the whole occurrence.

“I go com see you leta if I get any other tori give you.” Mama Chibuzor replied.

“Amebo, dey go”

“Na you I take resemble”

Both of them laughed out loud as Mama Chibuzor walked back to her flat.


*This was written as the Spirit directs!!! 😀 

  1. MsShaby says:

    LMAO! This story played out well in my imagination.


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