Dear Diary…3

Posted: January 20, 2014 in Guests' Couch, Series
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Dear diary blog

Jan 9th, 2014.

I’m not sure what today’s date is. I wake up startled. My head hurts. I look around slowly, and then I remember the accident. I’m not sure what really happened but I’m sure I’m in a hospital. I look to my right and my mum is holding my hand and my sister is on my other side almost suffocating me with her ball tummy.

I am not feeling too much pain but I need to dramatize my return to the world, I always tell my friends that if I’d ever faint and wake up not too shaken, I’d add some drama to my return.

“Where am I?” I shout. I hear Dean burst into laughter from somewhere in the room, he must have remembered, I smile.

Everyone starts talking at the same time, then they stop and let my mum explain to me how I’m in the hospital and how I drove into a ditch to avoid a head to head collision with a trailer. She tells me no one died and that the doctor says I am going to be fine.

I sit up to see my entire family and friends in my hospital room; they all look horrible but relieved that I am awake.

My mum goes on to tell me how my darling Lagosians had been robbing me while others were rushing me to the hospital. Chai! My 5S was gone.

I didn’t know when I said “Chai! My 5S” out loud!

Loty is the one who replies “Shei if you had died, you would have been using 5S to call us from heaven? Ode!”

Everyone starts laughing. I didn’t have energy for any comebacks so I just smile.

Ahem“, that was my dad. “Let leave the girl to rest, besides Dean wants to talk to her.”

Shei this Dean does not understand English? I’m sure if I had died he would have brought that ring to my funeral to propose. This guy don tire me.

Omalicha” I hear him say, I start laughing. His American accent did the word no justice.

“Please who is teaching you Ibo?!” I ask.

Ehen! So your tongue is still sharp after sleeping for two days? You dey craze.”

2 days? So I was asleep for 2 days, that one no be sleep now, na coma.

I was still thinking when I hear Dean say “Baby, why you no wan marry me now? Abi I get craw-craw for body?”

Sigh. Dean thinks everything is a joke.

Next thing I hear is “This your hospital gown is fine o, your figure is even more pronounced.”

Dean is an idiot; I wonder what he told my father that he wanted to say to me that made them pack everyone out of the room.

“Dean, I’m sorry I can’t marry you or anyone. I’m sorry I lied to you when you asked me about my genotype, I am SS. I know I lied that I was AS but when you said you were also AS, I was convinced that I didn’t need to tell you the truth because we can’t get married anyways. I’m sorry.” I am already crying and I look up to see Dean smiling at me.

“Neni, you are a mumu sha. So you think I didn’t know? How can we love together for so long and you’d think I don’t know that you are SS? All those your drugs that you always sneak to take, na wa for you. I’ve known since the week we moved in together, I hate that you lied to me but I understand. By the way I am AA and I just enjoyed punishing you. I still want to marry your lying ass though” Dean said.

I am elated to hear all these. But I wonder what Dean would say when I tell him I don’t want kids because I am scared of dying at childbirth.

He brings out the ring and turns to me with a mischievous smile on his face, bends down really close and whispers silently

“You are pregnant.”

I fainted again.



  1. miss lious says:

    Loooooool I love your stories jay!


  2. Abikoye Oluwatosin says:



  3. dunnee says:

    hmmmm am lovin dis blog as d day goes by! thumbs up jay


  4. Bev says:

    !! Lmao! Gosh I can’t stop laughing. Omg! I really am loving this writer.


  5. Oluchi says:

    Lmfao …..y she faint naa….hahaha


  6. elsie says:

    Lmao. I’m sure this coma will be for 4days. Looool


  7. Gloria A says:

    Jeez!!! This episode is so hilarious, lol..couldn’t hold back my laughter. There are no words to describe this piece, so u just keep up the good work. Thumbs up!!


  8. onyx says:

    LMFAO!!! she jes had to faint…. she’s one helluva lucky chic tho’


  9. Bell@ says:

    When is the 4th episode coming out?
    A mixture of sex, romance and comedy…the writer is truly gifted…
    Thumbs up and a 5 star for you.


    • Jay says:

      Hopefully soon ma’am…she’s truly is gifted, I can’t stop telling her this…I’m more than certain she appreciates your comment…thank you


  10. Anonymous says:

    Lmaooooo…. What a dramatic comeback


Hey! Please do Leave a Reply, it helps the writer improve, Thanks.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s