Posts Tagged ‘mother’

mother n child

He cried as he held her lifeless body in his hand. He was too late; all he did was for nothing. He wailed as the pain was too much for him to bear all alone. Why now, he thought.

“Why does it have to be now?” He screamed, tears dropping down free from his eyes as he looked up, asking God. “You should have given her a little more time. Are you trying to punish me or what?” He kept on screaming, a little inaudible as he cried.

All he wanted was to give her a better life. He had caused her too much pain, a pain too great for anyone and he was too late to set things right. He was certain God was punishing him for his sins against her and he was never going to forgive himself.

The cold nights on the streets, without a home to stay. The cold nights that they had to go hungry. The nights she had to be with papa Ebuka just because… he couldn’t bear the thought of thinking about it, talk less of saying it. He never wanted to think about it again, he had pushed it deep down away and locked it up deep inside him. It was a suppressed memory. He tried so hard to forget about it but he knew no matter what, he couldn’t. The sacrifices she had made just because of him were too much and the memories were going to hunt him for the rest of his life. How would he keep on living?

*************

You no dey hear word oh, Johnny. Calm down. No be so dem they do things. Your body too dey hot.” She had said to him.

He wasn’t listening, he was too angry to, the anger raged through his veins like the blood that flowed in them. That night he crept into the ma’s room and smothered him with the pillow beside him as he slept. He was never going to let him touch her again or take advantage of their situation, for as long and he lived, he made sure of that as he felt the life leave papa Ebuka’s body.

He knew she suspected him but she didn’t say anything about it. It was something they both knew but they never spoke of, till this day.

*************

“Johnny, where you dey?” He heard her call for him. He didn’t answer, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to get caught so he was in stealth mode hiding behind the door.  He held his breath as if, if he let out the air, she would know that he was there.

They hadn’t been in good terms for the last few days and he wasn’t ready to face her, at least not yet. Ever since that papa Ebuka incident, things slowly got estranged between them. He loved her so dearly but why he kept on fighting with her he had no idea, they never seemed to agree on anything. If only she saw things his own way a little bit more.

She left the room and he sighed. He was relieved that she didn’t see him. He had planned it all out and was going to carry out his plan to the last word. He can’t afford for her to spoil it. What he was about to do was going to hurt her greatly but the end justifies the means, he thought. He was doing all for her.

He took all their savings she had saved and it broke his heart as he knew it would break hers. He wrote her a small note apologizing and promised he wasn’t coming back until he had made it in life.

********

He had finally made it. He was what they termed as a big boy. He was finally going to give her the life she deserved. Nothing was between him and that now and he was determined to set things right. She had no choice but to forgive him. All he did, he did for her. The past didn’t matter now, all they needed was the future and he saw a bright one ahead.

He got to the house and as he parked his sleek new he saw her, she looked ill, she was sick, he could see it. She was coughing too but she hadn’t seen him yet. He hoped she would look up as he walked closer to her, before he could reach her, his mother dropped to the floor…

He cried as he held her lifeless body in his hand. He was too late; all he did was for nothing. He wailed as the pain was too much for him to bear all alone. Why now, he thought.

“Why does it have to be now?” He screamed, tears dropping down free from his eyes as he looked up, asking God. “You should have given her a little more time. Are you trying to punish me or what?” He kept on screaming, a little inaudible as he cried.

All he wanted was to make let her enjoy the ripe and juicy fruits of her suffering. The suffering they suffered together.

A neighbor heard his scream and came. He held in his hand a letter from her. He had written it for her as she couldn’t write it herself.  As if she knew that this day would come. He opened it was shaking hands and read it with tear filled eyes….

“Johnny, all I wanted you to do was listen, I know you wanted me to enjoy life but you went about it the wrong way. You left me all alone in this cold world that wrapped its cold lifeless hands around me, when I needed you the most. You left without a word not even a goodbye. You didn’t even ask for my blessings, after all the pain I went through for you and all the sufferings we went through together. I needed from you was just you love and nothing more but you were nowhere to be found. Not even the riches of the world could compare to that. I can’t say I forgive you because I never held it against you for one minute. I have and will always love you…”

The tears dropped freely from his eyes. All he wanted was to give her a better life but he had gone about it the wrong way. He could see all she had talked about while growing up. It had dawned to him but a little too late. He had caused her too much pain, a pain too great for anyone and he was too late to set things right. He was certain God was punishing him for his sins against her and he was never going to forgive himself.

The cold nights on the streets, without a home to stay. The cold nights that they had to go hungry He tried so hard to forget about it but he knew no matter what, he couldn’t. The sacrifices she had made just because of him were too much and the memories were going to hunt him for the rest of his life. How would he keep on living?…

He tied the rope firmly around the hook that dropped down from the ceiling, he couldn’t take it anymore. He knew this was going to hunt him forever, even in the afterlife but right now he couldn’t keep on living, not when the one person he lived for had left him, there was no point. Now he knew how she felt when he left her and that even hurt him more. The pain was imaginable and unbearable.

He put the rope around his neck and tightened it…he was going to meet her in the afterlife life, nothing else mattered more than her….

***End***

PS: A wise woman once told me “always leave loved ones with loving words it might be the last time you see them.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU FOR ME.
THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE WHO HAVE MADE SACRIFICES ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, YOU ALL ARE WHERE LIFE BEGINS AND LOVE NEVER ENDS…
 
 
©JAY
@SirJay_Suave
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